CrazyDates Relationship Advice:

Finding Self-Respect: Breaking Free from a Toxic Relationship

I've been involved with a man on and off for two years, and it's driving me crazy! We're both recovering alcoholics and initially started as friends through our twelve-step program. We share common interests and have been supportive of each other's journey. However, the problem arises as his life improves, he distances himself from the relationship and admits to taking advantage of me emotionally and financially.

He expressed interest in another woman and claimed he wants a more casual relationship, even though he can't stand to see me with other men. Despite this, he continues to spend time with me and gives me enough to keep me attached. I want to get married again someday, so I'm torn between waiting for him or dating others and potentially losing him for good.

The issue lies in my acceptance of his mistreatment. He only gives me attention when he wants something, and he's shown no willingness to change. I deserve better than being treated as an afterthought. Instead of waiting for him to change, I should consider my own needs and desires. I shouldn't settle for someone who doesn't respect or appreciate me.

It's clear that Jim is a taker, putting me down when he doesn't get his way. Trying to force him into a committed relationship will only lead to more misery. He has already admitted to using me, and begging him for commitment will only enable his behavior. It's crucial to realize that he isn't capable of making me happy in the long run.

If I value my friendship with Jim, I can establish boundaries and communicate my intentions to see other people while remaining friends. If he can't respect that, it's best to walk away and regain my self-respect. If I choose to continue a physical relationship with him, it should be because I genuinely want it, not just because he does. Ultimately, I'm looking for a loving, committed relationship with someone who appreciates me, and if Jim can't support that, he isn't a true friend.

Rather than waiting for Jim, I should stop wasting my life on him and start seeking a partner who will value what I bring to the table. It's time to prioritize my self-respect and find someone who appreciates me fully.

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